In a conversation with a business GM, Mark, that recently completed our Leadership Strategies program, an interesting conversation ensued.

 

“I can’t believe what I heard! This is really an eye open for me! Obviously I’ve got to make some determinations on what’s next!” he said.

 

As I’ve said, far too many times we make assumptions, assume everyone sees and think about the world the same as we do.

 

So what is it that Mark discovered and how could it affect your leadership, sales and results…….

 

Here is what went down for Mark and what he discovered.

 

In one session a comparative story of two men with virtually the same background, upbringing and life style is presented for evaluation.

 

As a mater of fact here is the story…

A man and his siblings grow up in a small town area. Each of them earn about $30,000 a year from their work, an income much like their father had. He sees himself as a small town rural type of guy, is content with his income, can’t see himself anywhere else and has developed an attitude that resists change. He has developed an approach to life that says, “Don’t rock the boat, don’t be outspoken or standout, be happy with what you have.”

 

Please note how many “don’ts” or “cant’s” there are.

 

A man and his siblings grow up in a small town area. Each of them earn about $30,000 a year from their work, an income much like their father had. He sees himself as a person that has ability and capability. He is ok with where he is at this time but is always looking for some way to improve or develop. His attitude is one of exploration and new ideas and how they might be applied. All though he is not outspoken, he is continually listening and learning something new. He wants more for his family and himself and is willing to put the effort in to make a better change. His philosophy is one that says anyone can be what they really want to be.

 

Please note the words: might, wants more, sees himself, make better.

 

Now the questions we ask in the session are:

 

For virtually all the leaders in our program the answers are very predictable. They want the second man with an open attitude and a willingness to grow.

 

Yes, most leaders also assume everyone else thinks the same as they do!

So did Mark until…..

 

He tried a test with his receptionist/assistant and asked her to do the exercise and give her opinions.

 

“I don’t like the second man; he is too aggressive and doesn’t seem satisfied. The first man is content where he is and has settled for a steady life.” was her response.

 

Mark was stunned! He did not know what to say or how to respond! This was completely different than what he thought she would have said!

 

So I asked Mark what this experiment had taught him.

 

“Well it does shed a great deal of light on some issues I’ve been observing and concerned about with her! If that is how she sees life and work it becomes easy to see why there is an up hill challenge.” Mark replied.

 

“It’s now obvious I have to make some different choices as to how the company can best utilize her abilities. I was hoping for more leadership and new ideas, but I doubt that now.”  mused Mark.

 

So I asked Mark what he thought about asking his floor crews and other groups in the company the same questions.

 

“I have a feeling there would be more than I like that would give me similar answers. This gives some good insight into why we get resistance from some of our team members”.

 

Yep, how many times have you or others come across resistance and just struggle with understanding why?

 

With this example it is obvious that many people do not think about or view the world the same. If we try to motivate, communicate or direct these people with the same methodologies or carrots as we might respond to, we will fail.

 

This applies to leaders, to salespeople and people in our personal lives. If we do not take the time to fully understand how others see the world, we will always meet with resistance and wonder why?

 

This requires us to use several skills like questioning, observing behaviors, listening for clues to their world view.

 

Most of the time the challenge to these skills is internal. This means we need to get ourselves out of the way and really focus on the other party.

 

“It’s not about us, it’s about them!”

 

Dr. Kevin Hogan indicates this is the true key to mastering persuasion. Really understanding what the other party wants, thinks and sees! Now fit your idea or product to their world.

 

Unfortunately in our “me” society putting the other person first is more foreign than one might think.

 

This gives us another barrier to overcome, yet if we truly want to communicate and persuade others, we can make it happen if we simply remember…

 

“It’s not about us, it’s about them!”

 

When that issue comes up or performance just isn’t happening, ask yourself if you really understand how they see the world. It just might surprise you!

 

The Leadership Strategies Program can give you more skills in this area or get our new book “The Selling Gap” and discover these skills on your own.

 

Till next week, keep listening!

 

Harlan Goerger, National Director of Training

 

© Harlan Goerger 9/2007