It’s a new year and resolutions abound!
Everything from exercise to financial to
friends and family are areas where these
new resolutions are established.
If you’re setting new goals and resolutions
consider the results of this survey:
“Everyone questioned indicated that
personal relationships were the most
important area of their lives. Yet, not one
had any type of goal set to enhance those
relationships!” Source: Zig Ziglar
Do you fit into this group? Do you want to
make 08 the year of better relationships?
More powerful communications?
If so, read on, I came across some
interesting and dynamic tools that could
change your communications forever! ………
First we understand that everyone
communicates with someone else everyday.
Some of these communications may be minor
and not that important and others could
change the course of our lives!
Every communications has the following
elements:
- A
transmitter, the person who is sending a
message.
- A receiver,
the person who is hopefully receiving the
message.
- The message
that is sent and hopefully received.
- Noise,
interference, filtering and other internal
or external elements that can interfere
with or distort the message.
- Feedback,
the verbal and non-verbal elements that go
between the two parties to verify and gain
understanding.
- Replication
or the understanding in each persons mind
that they see the same picture or message
as the other.
-
Understanding, not just the verbal aspect
of the message, but also the emotional and
values of the other party.
The first 3 elements most of us are very
familiar with and understand. It is the
last 4 elements that create most of the
challenges in communication. Thus the
following exercises will be valuable for
anyone in any position to give a try and
see how strong your communications could
be!
I’ll warn you; these will take courage, a
strong constitution, and a very strong
desire to grow! Be sure to have a partner
that you trust and is willing to grow as
well.
Exercise 1:
Silence…
With your partner sitting directly across
from you, about 18-48 inches apart..
1. Sit in silence for 2 minutes.
2. Look at your partners face in silence
for the 2 minutes without moving your
glance.
3. Your partner does not have to look at
you for the entire 2 minutes.
4. When your partner agrees you have
completed this exercise you may move on to
the next exercise.
Exercise 2:
Closure…..
With your partner sitting directly across
from you, about 18-48 inches apart..
- Ask your
partner to observe a different object in
the room
-
Continue to
ask your partner to observe objects until
20 different objects have been
observed.
-
After your
partner has observed each object you will
say “Thank You”.
-
After your
partner has indicted completion of this
task you can move on.
-
You have
now successfully closed 20 cycles of
communication.
Exercise 3:
Instigation Deflection…
With your partner sitting directly across
from you, about 18-48 inches apart..
1. Your partner will attempt to harm you
emotionally with words.
2. Your partner has 2 minutes to embellish
a verbal rampage against you
3. Your partner can use any words, tone or
body language they wish.
4. No physical contact is allowed
5. You are to listen silently while
maintaining eye contact with your
partner.
6. Should you laugh, look away or talk; you
must start the 2 minutes over again.
7. At the end of a successful 2 minutes you
and your partner agree that this has been
an exercise designed to help you deal with
confrontational communications.
8. This is no way depicts how your partner
sees you or thinks of you.
9. With your partners approval you may move
on to the next exercise.
Exercise 4:
Answer My Question….
With your partner sitting directly across
from you, about 18-48 inches apart..
1. You ask the following question
2. “Do dogs meow?”
3. Your partner can choose to answer “no”,
change the topic, ask the question back or
other possible answers.
4. Each time your partner does not respond
with “no” you must ask the same exact
question again.
5. Your partner must answer with “no” by
the 5th time.
6. When the correct answer is given, you
must respond with “thank you”
7. Repeat the same 6 steps with each of the
following questions.
“Are mailmen all women?”
“Do birds eat sharks?”
“Can you walk on water?”
There is not time limit on each question,
but they should take no more than 2
minutes.
The purpose here is to help you remain
focused on the goal of your communications
and repeat questions when they are ignored.
Important: Once
you and your partner have completed the 4
exercises you must discuss anything that is
bothering either of you. Discuss any
comments that either has said that still
seem to sting or bear on your mind. Clear
the air that this has been an exercise to
help you maintain control and composure in
your communications.
It is also important to understand that we
have repeated this material because of the
great value in it. Of course we give full
credit to Dr. Kevin Hogan for these
exercises.
Think you have the guts to give these 4
exercises a try? I’m sure they will provide
a challenge for most of us. Yet consider
the results in your communications for the
rest of the year!
In the balance of the article Dr. Hogan
goes on to discusses several tools such as
…
*Outcome Based Thinking
*Values and how they influence and direct
communications.
*Building rapport in communications
*Gaining closure in our communications
(We have several past article on these
tools, check the past articles at
www.BusArc.com )
If your 2008 goals include communication
skills, consider the
Leadership Strategies
Program which covers many of
these tools. If you are in Sales,
Management, Leadership or simply want to
take your communication skills to another
level, this could be the answer.
To a greater 2008!
Harlan Goerger, National Director of
Training
© Harlan
Goerger 1/2008
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