Applying persuasion to yourself for performance

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I just finished listening to Dave Lakhani, author of Power of an Houron behaviors, beliefs and success. One of the first concepts discussed was the ability to say YES to an opportunity as the key in providing life and business development. His premise is that we all have opportunities every day, but our behaviors and beliefs cause us to say NO far too often and we miss the success the opportunity could provide.  

In many of my articles, the behavior and belief concept has been discussed.  Well let’s explore these mysterious concepts that affect us every single day. I’ll take you though five steps to give you a clearer understanding of the what, how and why in terms of your behaviors and beliefs.  

1. If you want to understand your beliefs, look at your behaviors. So what do we mean by behaviors? What is it that you do everyday? Is it coffee first thing every morning or something else? Do you order salads and fruits or the 7 meat special? Do you exercise regularly or play couch potato? Do you grab challenges by the throat or withdraw? Do you dress to the nine’s every day or wear ragged jeans and sandals? Do you say “yes” to most opportunities or is no your response? 

These are behaviors we do every day, most of which we rarely think about, yet they provide the key ours and other’s beliefs.  

2.  To determine your beliefs do this: 

1.      List out a dozen or more of your regular behaviors, you need not be picky, this is an experiment.  

2.      Now ask yourself where this behavior comes from. Those of you who have been through our sales training know it takes 3-5 questions to get to the real answer, the same applies here. Really ask until you find the real origin of that behavior.   

3.      How would you describe the belief based on your answers? You now have your belief.  

Example: I struggle with working less than a 50-60 hour week and am constantly driven to work more. I question why my behavior is always work, work, and work. I have never approached it like this before.  I realize that it is a product of growing up on a farm raising cattle, hogs and grain; the only time you didn’t work was Sunday. If you were not doing something, it was viewed as being lazy, thus a belief that not working was somehow bad. We were measured on how much time we put in, not on the output from the time, thus the belief that my value is tied the volume of effort rather than the actual output.  

Has fear of self-revelation set in yet? Fight it off and commit to facing the true you! Remember, all of our behaviors and beliefs are learned! 

3. Now that we have behaviors listed along with the belief behind it and its source, we can then question the belief for validity. The absolute most devastating statement for you or your business is; “We have always done it this way.” This comes from ingrained behaviors and beliefs that may have been very viable at the time, yet now hold you back!  

            Dave Lakhani gives several ideas on how one can validate a belief:  

1.      What is the source? Scientific fact? Mom? The Internet? Folk lore? Someone heard it from someone who heard it from someone? Personal experience? If the source is credible, good. If not, we have reason to question the belief.  

2.      Test the belief, ask what would happen if it were not true? How would it change things?  

3.      What would happen to me if I choose not to have this belief? What impact would it have and what kind of impact, positive or negative?  

4.      What credible belief could replace this one? How would it affect the outcomes from now on?  

Got the idea? Go though each of your beliefs and test them. Retain the valid ones and determine what to replace the non-valid ones with.  We can make major strides in changing our outcomes using this exercise. Far too often these non-valid beliefs cause us to say “no” to the opportunities and hold us back.  

4. So we got through the easy stuff and here comes implementing the new beliefs and behaviors. As you pick a new belief to replace the non-viable one, it can get uncomfortable. Of course you need to set new objectives and goals to learn the new belief and make it part of you. An important concept in creating new beliefs is that action (behavior) usually comes before belief. So set goals that cause new behavior to reinforce the new belief. We'll have more on this in a later article.

There are also a few other points to ponder as you proceed with your new belief and behaviors.  

Avoid replacing the belief with a similar and comfortable belief. People often realize they have a bad situation, get out of it and then right back into the same situation. You may actually go through a grieving type process as you have given up a very familiar and comfortable belief. This is where a very narrow focused goal and activity can help you through.  

Acknowledge the small success, even if they are not 100%. This is a different belief than many of us have, but we need to acknowledge even the smallest part of a success to keep building the new belief. If our goal for the week is X production and we only hit E, we still hit 25%, we need to celebrate the 25% and not dwell on the other 75%. Of course we need to evaluate and adjust to eventually hit the X.  

Avoid self-sabotage, old beliefs are hard to get rid of. You may need to change your environment as well to move forward. Look at the people and things around you. Do they distract you or draw you back to your old belief? Do the people you associate with hang onto the old belief and pull you back? Can you get family and friends to buy into your new belief? Include those closest to you in your belief choice so they can support you rather than block you.  

Dr. Kevin Hogan has an interesting exercise about your environment. Take 10 of your closest friends or associates, add up their estimated annual incomes and the average is what you earn! If you want to earn more, find wealthier associates. This applies to many of the things around you as well.  

5. Choice, remember that our beliefs, values and behaviors are all personal choices. By making conscious choices about what we want and who we want to be, our business and lives can be different.  

As we make these new choices the idea of hard work also comes along. Not just lots of activity, rather viable results from the hard work. Plenty of focus and dogged persistence will go along way as well.  

A valuable question to use for every choice you make: “Am I making the best decision for me today?” 

If you want more on understanding behaviors, beliefs and values and how to utilize information in persuasion and influence, view the site www.BusArc.com.