I’m walking though the grocery store on a
quick errand, my mind is on my own problems
and some issues that have popped up.
Focused on my task and own issues, I’m
unaware of my mood and demeanor.
As I’m standing at the checkout, I note how
the clerk is not real happy looking and
customers are not engaging her.
That’s when I become aware of my own
demeanor and realize I might be sending
worse signals than she is!
Ever have one of those days where it’s a
struggle to keep you attitude up or at
least even?
Here is what we can do to change that...
I recall reading in Dr. Wayne Dyers work
that attitude fallows actions. In other
words we have choices as to how we allow
our attitude to direct us.
One of Dr. Dyers suggestions for a person
feeling depressed was to go out side and
simply throw a ball around. This simple
physical act and choice can soon start
changing the attitude and outlook.
So back to the check out clerk and my
attitude. As my turn came up to check out I
had some choices.
- Do nothing
different and just check out and leave.
Both the clerk and I continue our day as we
currently are.
- Pass my
poor attitude on to the clerk and reinforce
the down attitude in both of us.
- Engage the
clerk in some positive way to see if I
could alter her state and in doing so
possibly alter my own.
“You’re really getting the crowd through
here fast! Thanks for being good at your
job.” was my opening comment to her.
She stopped, glanced at me then turned her
head downward and blushed a bit. Then came
a small smile and the comment, “I try”. She
quickly checked out the purchase and looked
up with a smile and said “Thank you”,
something I had not heard from her with
other previous customers while standing in
line.
Yes, my choice had made a difference in her
mood and I was able to change her state of
mind. This happens when you work with the
first rule of persuasion..
It’s not about you, it’s about them”
Guess what, as I walked out my own attitude
had changed! I felt different, more up beat
and my previous issues did not seem as
intense!
Now this may seem like a simplistic and
idealistic concept, yet it is proven by
scientific research that certain choices
and actions alter the chemical make up in
our brain. They are called opioid’s and
have recently been noted on brain scans.
Choices such as worry, stress, inactivity
and negative thinking reduce the “good”
opioid chemicals in our brain and we feel
even more down. On the PET scans areas of
the brain showed little activity.
On the other hand, activities like throwing
a ball, viewing others and events outside
us as positive and positively engaging
others causes these “good” chemicals to
increase. The PET scan showed areas of the
brain lighting up like a Christmas tree!
(Article on
opioid study
http://www.med.umich.edu/opm/newspage/2004/smoking.htm
)
Thus we are more positive, more alert and
more energized!
Does this sound too easy?
Yep it does, but does life have to be
difficult to be rewarding?
(Vince Harris recently wrote an article on
this subject as well; you could view it at
www.vinceharris.com .)
An experiment I like to run while walking
in a crowd such as the mall is to look
everyone coming towards me right in the eye
and smile. I have no idea who they are or
what is going on in their heads. Yet when I
do this about 60% of the people change
their lifeless and listless demeanors to a
smile. About 20% nod or say hello!
Yes you can change people’s mental state
much easier than one might think! By the
way, this is one of the first steps in
persuasion.
Why would I do this? Because it helps me to
feel better as well!
That’s right, this is all about how to get
you and I feeling better and having a
better mental attitude.
Interesting how doing something for others
provides you a benefit!
Here are a few key ideas anyone can utilize
to take more control over those down day
attitudes….
- Find
yourself down and sitting on the couch? Go
take a walk, work out or get into some type
of physical action.
- Having a
bad day? Force yourself to engage someone
else in a positive way and see if you can
change their state to a more positive
one.
- Go out and
volunteer your time on a local project.
This combines the activity with the
positive interaction.
- Instead of
focusing on the negative or bad issues that
are taking you down, write a list of all
the positives you have or good aspects.
This combines physical action and a refocus
on something or someone else.
- Keep a log
or diary of your day. This way you can
isolate the positives that get buried by
the negatives that seem to dominate our
environment. Once more this requires
physical action.
The key is to alter your own state when
you’re down. By taking some type of action
you can alter your own state of mind, thus
your emotional state and attitude!
One sales manager tells the story of a
salesman that was struggling in a new
territory. The sales were down and he was
down. The manager instructed him to leave
his sales materials in the car and just go
and meet 100 new people over the next
couple of days.
By the end of the week his sales were over
the top! By changing his focus, his state
of mind changed and how others perceived
him changed!
Yes, you can do the same!
Till next week, make it the best day of
your life, as only you can!
Harlan Goerger
© Harlan
Goerger, 10/2007
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